Out East, a cold zone, a land of regret, where teams slither around, slapping each others hands away from their cookie pots. Where the team owners sit around in dilapidated old offices, like mobsters in glossy restaurants, giving their title of leadership a bad reputation. It's in the Eastern Conference, in this, the shorter, but sweeter 2011-2012 NBA season, where we challenge ourselves to reveal insightful data and proficient concepts.
There are three different groups that teams fall into heading into the season. There are the horrible teams (in the East, there are horrible teams everywhere), the good teams, and the teams that have a shot at actually singing along to Freddy Mercury next June, Larry O'Brien Trophy in hand.
Group One: Teams that Stink
Cleveland, Charlotte, and Toronto are going to stink. Cleveland won't stink quite as bad as last year's last place team, mired in a marathon season, their first without LeBron James. Hey, it got them the number one pick. They drafted a point guard named Kyrie Irvin. Someday he'll probably be pretty good. Their owner is an emotional roller coaster. Now they'll go out there and lose most of their games, as will the Raptors and the Bobcats. And that's all there is to it.
Group Two: Teams that Are Good
Next we examine our second group, the good teams, those middle-of-the-pack squads that bring the fight with some interesting ideas and game plans, who shift around like loose matter, winning more games than they lose. Highlighting this fun bunch, the Philadelphia 76ers.
Philly's identity has entered Jrue Holiday, where the young point guard finds comfort in leading. With a veteran team, a potentially big year from Elton Brand, and a core that's used to each other, the Sixers are poised for a jump in the standings. They'll find themselves just on the outside, looking in at the real-deal contenders.
Atlanta seems determined to ignore the fact that they need a real starting center, as they'll continue to use Al Horford and Josh Smith out of position. Losing Jamal Crawford and giving Jeff Teague the keys in his second year will result in a slight regression, and the Hawks are going to be looking somber at times. Pouting is contagious, and Atlanta might lead the league in it this year. Don't get too attached to the Hawks. That's my advice.
Orlando is destined for implosion. I hesitate to say too much, but that place is done for. I'm sorry, I've said too much.
With Deron Williams coming off having his number retired in Turkey, he and the Nets seem to have a World Class point guard running the show. With the most important Russian person as the team owner, there truly is a whiff of mobster stuff in the New Jersey Nets inner circle. They should be able to attract one or two New York lovers to join the fold. Doc Howard seems to think it would be fun to join the Nets. There's plenty to like about a team that's been really lousy for a bunch of years, but the fancy future that comes with winning a championship definitely won't be unfolding in Stink Town this season. Maybe in a few years in Brooklyn.
Indiana was a nice story last season, sneaking in the playoffs and putting up a tiny fight against the Chicago Bulls. This season they've got an improved roster, ongoing development of some mighty important youngsters (Hibby, Paul George (George is poised to really play like a winner in a much bigger role), and Darren Collison. Pacers looking cool!
Andrew Bogut was in a constant bad dream last season, what with his elbow sending enormous amounts of pain into his whole body. Well, he's smiling again, something he never did, not even once, last season. He's claiming that the pain has subsided, and the hallucinations have stopped completely. Can Brandon Jennings take the next step? I honestly don't know. Stephen Jackson is getting old. Beno Udrih is getting cold. Drew Gooden is getting bold. And that's the Bucks news I've been told.
Washington and Detroit are lucky to be associated with this group, the second group, the one that has all the mediocre to pretty good teams. Truth is, Detroit and Washington are still pretty lousy. Detroit seems to be the worst managed team in the East. Somehow Joe Dumars was given a lifetime free pass and he's gone insane and now all he wants to do is try to screw things up. After signing two of the biggest busts to lucrative long-term deals last off-season (Charlie V. and Benny G.), they went ahead and gave Tayshaun Prince a big new contract. On the plus side, we get to watch Greg Monroe do some things. But although Monroe is cool, Detroit as a whole will be fortunate to contend for the playoffs. Washington even more so.
Group 3: Contending
I'm giving the New York Knicks some sort of weird benefit of the doubt on this one. They signed a champion center in Tyson Chandler, and they'll have all season to figure it out with some insane offensive firepower of one-two punch Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire. They're one of those teams that gets what they want, and it wouldn't be surprising to see them land some more talent as time shoves forward relentlessly. Baron Davis is already on board, and who knows, maybe even some good players will join also.
Boston looks to get back on the saddle after their banged and bruised bodies lost in last season's semis to the Miami Heat. The series wasn't very close, so Boston's got a lot to prove if they want to stay in the title picture. Miami seems too strong for an old leathery team like Boston. And the sad news regarding their young forward, Jeff Green, and his heart issue keeping him off the court this season, will definitely affect their bench rotations. Boston is probably more in the Philadelphia boat this year, a fitting scene, considering their close bond from the way-back-when (Colonial Times).
So you take out all the teams that I've already mentioned and you get the two heavy weights. You get Chicago, and you get Miami. You know the story, I don't need to candy coat any of it for you. Chicago got Rip Hamilton. Miami got Shane Battier. Chicago has the MVP, D-Rose, and Miami has the Super-Star Super-Core with LeBron, Wade, and Shane Battier. Hopefully we'll get to watch the two teams in this season's Eastern Conference Finals (either that or Pacers/Bucks is a close second).
But that's a long way down the road. In the meantime, let's just sit back, relax, rest easy on the sorrow, child, and let the Triple Dribble be your guide. Look for it, midway through the 3rd Quarter. Don't blink or you'll miss it.
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