Monday, May 2, 2011

Round One Rebound Free-4-All - NBA Postseason Thoughts You Can Trust


With the Boston Celtics about to slug it out with the Miami Heat, the Bulls given a second straight push-over opponent in Atlanta, the Mavs and Lakers meeting in the playoffs for the first time since 1988, and with the Grizzlies, America's Team, going up against another fresh face, Oklahoma City, NBA fans gotta feel great about the second round situations about to unfold. It was an unforgettable first round, and the 2011 playoffs continue to shine like a freshly cleaned dagger.


Most folks probably expected the Celtics and Heat to see each other in the playoffs, but before the season started, most would have expected it to be in the Conference Finals. Instead, the 2nd and 3rd seeds are facing off in the Semis, giving the Eastern Conference a Christmas-come-early feel. Doc Rivers insists that Shaquille O'Neal will play in the series, but it's unclear if it will matter. Thankfully for Boston, the Heat's center position is one of historic weakness (a side result from the formation of the superstar super-core), and Shaq's mass shouldn't be needed (Dampier, I'm calling you out!). Sure, his body is capable of blobbing up the paint, giving the Celtics a cool dinosaur look on defense with some positive results, but Boston's gotten very little from Shaq all year. I don't suppose it's time to begin relying on him now. "Shaq was supposed to be Dwight Howard repellent, but turns out there ain't no Dwight Howards coming through Beantown this postseason, so screw it!" said Celtics season ticket holder Bud Reeves.


Dirk Nowitzki was just a boy in Germany when the Mavericks last met the Lakers in the postseason. Seems hard to believe, but believe it you must. It's altogether possible that Dirk Nowitzki's Mavs are confidently feeling the monkey back lifted after taking care of business in Portland for the Game 6 closeout. With the extra days off, Jason Kidd has a chance to rest his aching feet. His feet have become monstrous over 16 seasons, and just one brief glimpse has been known to frighten the bravest of goths. Perhaps the team with more crazy-brain will win. So which team has more crazy-brain? Mavs got Jet Terry, D-Shawn Stevenson, Brian Cardinal, and Tyson Chandler. Lakers got Kobe B, Ron Artest, Matt Barnes, and Steve Blake. Tough to call, just watch out for all eight of these crazy-wild guys, because they're all bringing the fireworks to this tight-lipped playoff series. Should be explosive! Children look away!


Although I've got plenty of doubts about the Bulls, I trust them to take care of the Atlanta Hawks. No chance Atlanta does it again, right?... Nope. It truly is nearly impossible. Everyone's talking about Kirk Hinrich's injury as the broken table leg, and without him the table's bound to fall. Kirk Hinrich's a good pro, but if no Hiney means the Hawks are doomed, I'm pretty sure the doom was already front and center, creating tropical storm patterns over present-day Atlanta, with or without Captain Kirk. Prove me wrong Jeff Teague. Prove us all wrong.... (yeah right).

Our time portal comparison proved to be legitimate, as two cracks in the living parallelogram occurred during the Western Conference's first round. Dallas meets Portland, 3rd vs. 6th seeds, just as it was in the 2003 playoffs. Things started off eerily similar, but before Dirk Nowitzki saw his young father dancing at prom, he dominated the basketball series, giving Dallas the good result, just as it was in '03. "I swear, I saw Dirk scoring some 31 points to beat the Blazers, but also, I could have sworn I saw Nowitzki on the local news, turning a scooter into a skateboard," said Dallas fan J.P. Hiltoppington.


Secondly, in uncanny 2007 style 8th seed dominance, the Memphis Grizzlies upset the San Antonio Spurs, bringing smiles to the faces of Don Nelson, Baron Davis, and Stephen Jackson. Suddenly, the old feelings were back. Men started kissing their wives more. Tweens went through their old toy boxes. Babies didn't understand, but it didn't matter. It's ecstatic pure bliss in 8th seeded Memphis, and ladies and gentlemen, it's contagious. But for the Grizzlies, time doesn't stand still. Their first round victory was epic and wonderful, but this 8th seed's journey isn't over. A legitimate chance at the Conference Finals is in sight. Here come KD with the Rumble in the Sky. A fresh taste of second round basketball. Sure tastes good (like seasonal fruit).

Teams will be on the hunt for as many Tony Allen types as possible this summer. Cheap, dedicated, sometimes on the covers of insane magazines, Tony Allen types play with a general ferocity that intimidates older, more flamboyant players. The Grizzlies noticed it earlier in the year, and added even more Tony Allen type talent with the Shane Battier trade. The loss of Rudy "The High Score Kid" Gay took it further, only this time by accident. Take away a flashy offensive player, the kind of guy who consistently wants the ball to create his shot, and replace with a Tony Allen type. Bing-bang-boom, you're team is suddenly playing with contagious team-first energy (side effects include poor shot selection, inability to create shot, O.J. Mayo wants to play too, crazy haircuts).

The Spurs have handled it well, losing so soon to the 8th seeded Griz. Chalking the lost round up to inferior effort and strength appears to be the Spurs' reasoning, and all post-series feelings seem to lack the insane disbelief that Dallas and NBA fans felt in 2007. Back then, Dallas and Mavs fans were crying baby-style. For two straight weeks following the '07 upset, Dirk was seen throwing furniture at least twice a day. The Spurs are taking the high road, and the classiness is appreciated. General praise for the Griz is the main ingredient in all Spur interviews, and although it takes the pressure off the situation, isn't there something about all this high road strolling that seems a bit chicken-shit? Is it wrong to want more Spur sadness?

And now, a moment to remember those who gave us their best during the first round of the playoffs, yet lost in the end with bitter regret. These fellas fought to the finish line, and filled the stat sheets as they went. Yet it was not enough, as team ball reigns supreme.


Carmelo Anthony, NYK
26 ppg, 10.3 rpg, 4.8 apg, 1.3 spg, .8 bpg


Dwight Howard, ORL
27 ppg, 15.5 rpg, 1.8 bpg


Kenyon Martin, DEN
11.8 ppg, 7.8 rpg

2 comments:

  1. Has this blogger ever watched the 2010-2011 second round Hawks battle?

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  2. Twice last week. But seriously, anyone give the Hawks a shot to win anything more than what they did? It was a great series (ATL and CHI), but it was one that only more-so showed the better teams' inability to dominate. Some might call it a better, more even-keel playoffs, but at the same time, the lack of domination (other than Dallas in the West) is glaring, even in the good-to-watch closeness of the Bulls and Hawks series of 2011. Good comment Hristian!

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